Because.

Today is my husband's 35th birthday! 

He's spending the day working, boo, but we are gonna spoil him with love when he gets home.  Today is a day that I think needs to be celebrated by us as a family, because without today, we wouldn't have this amazing man/husband/father in our lives.

Jason, I hope you know just how special you are to us, and how we wouldn't be the family we are without you.  There are so many reasons why I love you.

I love you because...

...you love Gwen more than you love yourself.  And I know so without you even saying the words... I just know.

...you allow me to be me.  In every form.  Which isn't always the prettiest.  And all the while, not loving me any less.

...you have the biggest heart out of any one I have ever known.

...you wear said heart on your sleeve.  Your emotions are not something that one has to "guess" you put it all out there, and I think that is such a strong characteristic.

...you're pretty fearless.  Ok, maybe not always my favorite quality lol, but I love and admire that about you.

...of the man you've become.  Let's face it, we were both somewhat different people when we met, and I can't say that I knew you would evolve into this completely devoted family man, but you are.  You've exceeded my expectations of you... by far.  I am a proud and lucky wife.

...of the way that you love me.  Nothing's perfect, neither are we, but our relationship and love for each other is not one to be messed with.  I AM sure of that.  My hope is that you feel as loved as you make me feel, which is A LOT ;)

So, happy birthday, old man. Your girls are waiting for you to come home and celebrate.

Love you.  

Wordless{ish} Wednesday :: Blonde{ish} Edition

I have always been a big baby when it comes to changing my hairstyle/color.  I've said it before, I really don't like change.  I mean, I always admire other hairstyles and store them into the "Maybe One Day" memory file... but nothing really ever comes of it.  For example, I have always wanted to try bangs, well, side swept bangs... will it ever happen?  Maybe not.  But, who knows. 

This past year, I have admire a few brunettes that I know that have went super light with their hair color.  Like blonde  light.  So much so, that I decided I needed to just suck it up and go for it.  And thankfully, my bestie is also my hairstylist {like she is the ONLY person I trust to do anything major to my hair}, who now lives upstairs from me!  So...  I am now {sort of} blonde.

It's not forever, but for now?  I'm lovin' it!

Thanks to my bestie Jennifer!  If anyone in the NJ/NY area needs an amazing stylist, lmk because she is kick ass!

Perfection.

Even though she's toddler, and can tear things apart in seconds, or throw tantrums like someone is paying her to do so, there are so many moments that I look at Gwen and just think...

"She is so perfect."

I do.  Sometimes it is when she is in the middle of a deep belly laugh.  Other times it's while she sleeps in the middle of our big {yet not big enough} bed.  Or especially when she says, "I love you so much."

She's just perfect.

And I always then think, "We made her."  That beautiful little being is here because we created her.

I am the most proud when I talk about her.

She is my biggest accomplishment and my greatest reward all wrapped into one.

It was amazing for me to see my best friend experience this same feeling this past week too.  The funny thing is that she didn't even have to say the words, I saw it on her face.  In her smile as she looked at her perfect little baby boy.  In the way she held him and kissed him so sweetly, like he had been here for years.  And I felt elated that she finally got to feel that feeling, because no one can tell you how wonderful it is with just words.

Being a mom is the craziest, most trying, hardest thing I have ever done.  But, it's also the best.  I wouldn't give up being a mom, especially Gwen's, for all the money in the world.

Half Baked.

That's right, baby girl is half baked.  I am 20 weeks today!  It definitely DOES feel like I have been pregnant for 5 months, this pregnancy seems to be moving along very slowly.  Don't hate me, but I am welcoming the end of summer and my favorite season, fall.  I am just ready for the laidback-ness {yes, I know that's not a word} that September brings, along with football, everything pumpkin and Gwen's bday!

How far along?
Half way there! 20 weeks.

Total weight gain/loss?
Ugh, I go to the doctors this afternoon, and I am sort of dreading it.  I mean, I was on vacation last week, do you really think I stood a chance?  Should be interesting.

Maternity clothes?
While on vacation, I did rock 3 maternity items {although they are still a bit too big} - A pairs of shorts, a pair of jeans, and one tee.  Other than that, all my regular clothes.

Sleep?
We shared a bed with Gwen while away, so it wasn't the BEST sleep, but since we have gotten home, I am back on track! {Thank God!}

Best moment of the week?
Finding out the sex!  And seeing/hearing the baby again.  Now on to planning and organizing.

Movement?
Tons.  And this week, Jason was able to feel a few kicks from the outside. :)

Food Cravings?
Oh, Lord... while away, I could not get enough dill pickles, lemonade, and cookie dough ice cream with rainbow sprinkles!  {See why I am dreading the scale??!?!}

Gender?
Girl!  My husband will be a ladies man until the day he dies, lol!

Labor Signs?
Nope.

Belly Button?
Still normal.

What I Miss?
Being on vacation.

What I Am Looking Forward To?
Seeing my best friend's baby boy {she's in labor RIGHT NOW!}.  And getting started on the baby's room... I am pretty sure I know what I want to do, just have to get the Hubs on board.

Milestones?
Being half way there {maybe less}, finding out the sex, and feeling her from the outside... it's been a busy week!

Princesses.

We are adding another beautiful little princess to our family!  That's right, IT'S A GIRL!  Gwen wanted a sister all along, and Gwen usually gets what Gwen wants. Lol.  Everything looked good at the appointment, and we seem to be right on track! Girls will rule our house :)

I Think It's A...

...Baby.

Truth, I have NO clue what this baby is.  I sway back and forth.

During my first trimester, I was definitely more nauseous than I was with Gwen, but it wasn't a "day ruining" type of morning sickness that other people have had.

I have had one vivid dream that it was a girl... and I even called her by our picked name throughout the entire dream.

I am much more tired this pregnancy.  But, that could be entirely because I am also "toddler chasing" all. day. long.

What do I want it to be?

Healthy.

No joke.  I don't care how cliche' that sounds.

I'd love to have a boy.  To know what it is like to be a "boy mom" too.  For Jason to have a son to be rough and rowdy with {although he is that way with Gwen already}.  To coach in baseball, or football, or whatever sport.

But, I also love having a girl.  I'd love Gwen to have a sister.  Best girlfriends.  Another princess. 

The only thing I REALLY care about??  Health.  I'd love 10 fingers, 10 toes, in perfect condition.  Just like Gwen.  

So, who knows.  I guess I'll be just as surprised as you when we find out... tomorrow!

So get your guesses in now!
What do YOU think we are having?
  

Public OpinionPoll Results

Check back tomorrow for the answer!

A Year Without You.

Pop,

I cannot believe that it has been a whole year since you left this Earth.  I just can't.  I can't because, it doesn't seem like 365 days have passed already, yet, it feels like forever since I have seen your face, heard your voice, or given you a big hug and kiss.

Life isn't the same.  Just isn't.

Thankfully, my memory of you is always vivid.  Pictures.  Voicemails.  Videos.  All there to remind me, or lift me up when I am missing you so much.  It doesn't pale in comparison to the real thing, but it'll have to do.

I know that you are up there, watching down on us, all of us.  Our sweet guardian angel.

I hear your voice often.  Telling me that I know better than to chop veggies that way.  Calling me "Sammy" so sweetly and playfully.  Trying to get us all down to AC for a daytrip.  Telling me that you love me, in the most sincere and heartfelt way... makes me smile just thinking about it.

I hope that you are proud of us.  Us, being all your kids and grandkids, and great-grandkids {there's another on the way now :)}.  We have really stuck together.  We have lifted each other up.  Our bond has grown stronger, and it's all because of you.

Today is a hard day... it's no longer "new" that you are gone, yet the pain is still very fresh.  I'm sure that only time will be able to heal me.  I'll be thinking of you, more than usual today, so feel free to send some "signs" my way ;)

I love you and miss you more than I could ever put into words. I can't wait to see your face again.

Love Always,
Sammy

P.S. JJ and Michael took mom golfing today... I'm sure you'll be with them.