Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Being a stay-at-home mom was never something that I expected to be in life.  And even though I am thoroughly enjoying it, and dread that day that I ever have to leave Gwen in the care of someone else, that doesn't mean that I don't have "those" days.

Sad days.

Days when I think, "I can't believe that I don't 'bring' anything {monetarily} into this house."  Second guessing myself because I don't have a "9-5" job.

{Believe me, I know that my "role" in this house is invaluable, my husband reminds me of all the great things that I do, but sometimes it doesn't matter.}

THEN, there are the days {like the past 3 days} when my baby is sick, unhappy, and cranky, and I can't help but think, "What DIDN'T I do?"  "How can I fix this?"  "Is it my fault" because I am her keeper and supposed to protect her and keep her safe and well. 

{I know that it is NOT my fault, that it's life, it's going to happen many more times, it just sucks in that moment}

And then, just when at that lowest moment in the crappy day, it happens... my validation.

After another long day and even longer night before that, Gwen got a good night's rest, but at 4am she was thirsty/hungry/not feeling well and woke up crying.  Instead of just screaming and yelling, but still crying, she perfectly whimpered "Mom," then waited a few seconds and "Mom" again. She's been able to say this for a long time, but it was HOW she was saying it.  She KNEW who she was calling for and why.

 She was calling ME, her mother, because she needed me, because she knew that I would take care of her.  That I would make her feel better, comfort her, soothe her.  

It was at that moment {yes, 4am} that I got what I needed. 

And that, my friends, makes me proud.
We're on the mend, cooped up inside, so please enjoy this amazing weather for us!!



Andrea @ Life in Dawleywood said...

aww, sweet sweet Gwen! I hope she feels better soon!

Monica said...

Awww what a good post! I hope she feels better ASAP!

the workaholic momma said...

AAWWW...how beautiful...i know that had to just melt your heart:) I hope Gwen gets back to herself in no time and you guys can enjoy the spring weather!!

Alyssa said...

She is so sweet!! I hope she's feeling better soon! That's not fun for either of you! I can only imagine how it breaks your heart.

Natalie said...

It is amazing how these kiddos can really give us perspective with one little word!

LOVE MELISSA:) said...

So sweet- my eyes just watered. I felt the same way last week with Zane. I hope Gwen feels better!!

mommy baum said...

cute post, so glad that she is doing better....i hate it when they are sick! you are such a great mom!