Tuesday, October 15, 2013

81 Days.

81 days left until my due date. Wow.  And being that those days will also be a part of the holiday season, I am sure that they are going to fly by.  

I've been thinking a lot lately, that I only have a short amount of time left as a mom of one. {aaahh!!} And I want to smother Gwen in tons of love and "mommy and Gwen" time.  It's been 3+ years of just Gwen and I, and I would be lying if I said that I'm not nervous as to how she will react to this new chapter of our lives.

Maybe I am nervous for me too.

I want her to know that she will always be my "baby."  My first glimpse at the world of motherly love.  That she changed my life in ways that she won't ever be able to imagine until she has a child of her own.  That I will never love her any less, only more and more with each new day.

I've been a barrel of emotions these days, thinking about how amazing these three years of just Gwen and I have been.  How she is my best friend.  How I have not missed a moment of her little life {thank you, Jason for that opportunity}.  And I just want to soak in EVERY SECOND of the next 81 days as our family of three.

We may have taken more that the normal amount of naps together.  Snuggled a little past bed time a few times.  Shared a midday day ice cream sundae, just because.  I just want her to feel special.  Always special.  I don't want her to feel like she is losing any part of me with the arrival of her sister.

I know that it's me who is feeling this way, not her.  But, I just love her so much, and I want her to know it.

Now, I know that I am going to have the same relationship with Addison when she arrives.  I already love her so much too.  I guess I am just nervous for the change.

What about you moms of more than one??  Did you have similar feelings??  How did you address them??  Did these feelings just disappear after baby's arrival??


Ashley said...

It's a weird transition going from one to two and I'm still adjusting 8 months after having my little one.

I will tell you one thing the amount of love I felt with my first one was doubled when I had the second. It's like my love was multiplied for both kids. It is intoxicating. :)

Natalie said...

It is hard at first...b/c at 2 and 3 they are such little people and sometimes you will have to miss out something b/c you have to tend the baby. But it gets easier, and then you see them as an older sibling being so sweet and your heart melts and grows!