Thursday, October 24, 2013

I'm Not Ready For This.

When you find out that you're having a little girl, your mind is flooded with thoughts of bows, frilly dresses, dance recitals, and everything pink.  What doesn't immediately pop into your head is what to expect further down the line... because we won't be experiencing them until LATER in their lives.  Or so I thought.

This past Sunday, we were celebrating our beautiful Godson's Christening at my sister-in-law's house out in PA.  The party was filled with tons of kids, of all ages, which Gwen was thrilled about.  She took a particular liking to a little boy, a bit older than her, who offered to play catch with her.  To say she was excited was an understatement.  She was enamored with this boy.  And he, well, he was not.  Sure, he played with her for a little while, but when he tired and she did not, he began to hide from her.  "Don't let Gwen find me."  "Gwen's crazy."

Ok, kid, we get it.

BUT, he wouldn't just hide and leave it alone.  If she wasn't running to find him, he made sure to make his presence known to her, then take off running.  An innocent game of cat and mouse, right??

Well, this went on the majority of the party.  And after most of the other kids had left, Gwen asked very sweetly, "Wanna play catch with me?"  He accepted.  

They played nicely, as Jason and I watched from up above on the deck... then it happened.  He turned her around so her back was towards him, and pushed her gently forward as to say "Go that way and I'll throw it to you."

She was all smiles as she took steps forward, excited for the game.

While, he ran away.

She turned around, looking for her friend, and when she realized he had taken off... she was crushed.  She didn't say a word, she didn't have to.  From 30 feet away, I could see it clearly written all over her face.

And I wanted to cry.

She pouted and sat down on the steps near her, just about ready to cry, and all I could think was, "I am not ready for this.  I'm not ready for heartbreak."

She snapped out of it after a few minutes and after her Grandma, myself, and her Daddy engaged her in something else, but I was in shock.

Jason and I kept looking at each other, me with tears in my eyes {hey, hormones!} repeating, "WTF?!"  "That little kid just broke her heart!"  "Oh, I was not prepared for this!!!"

Ok, I knew DOWN THE ROAD that this would be something we would deal with.... MAYBE middle school, but at three???   Ugh.

No, it wasn't such a huge deal, but it definitely was a lesson.  I couldn't believe how infuriated I was at a little boy, for hurting my baby.  I wanted to scoop her up and kiss her and erase what had just happened.  Because I'm her mom and that's my job.

She's just fine.  And, I'm sure that she doesn't remember much about it, in fact, I'm sure that she'll be just as enamored and excited to play with him the next time they meet.  

I, on the other hand, won't ever forget Gwen's first "playground heartbreak."

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