Pregnant Patience & A Trying Toddler

She warned me.  Dr. P, that is.  She said, "You are going to have very little patience, especially with Gwen." And even though I had thought I was already dealing with it... I was wrong.

I feel like I have the shortest fuse with her lately.  Well, really with EVERYTHING, but she is the only one that I really feel bad about.

I can't stand the sassiness, the talking back, the defiance... all things that normally irk me, but I mean these things are driving me nuts.

And the repetitiveness?? THE WORST.

"No, Gwen."  "Stop, Gwen."  "Come here, Gwen."

NOW!!!

I find myself in the car with her some mornings, and after the "I want ______, I want______, I want_____"  and the "Mom, Mom, Mom"s, wanting to turn around and say, "Just. stop. talking."  PLEASE.

There are definitely moments that I feel like a bad momma, because I have zero tolerance for her normal toddler behavior.  I just want to lock myself in a room where I can't be asked, "Where you going? What you doing? Where you going?  What you doing?"  any more.  Where I can't be affected by the whining and crying because I won't let her have yet another round of M&M's.

Thank God this child still naps.  Because not only is it the "timeout" that we both need, we both get to recharge and start fresh when she awakes.  

I am praying that my second trimester brings back my toddler tolerance... because she is just too cute to waste our time together being frustrated with her.

I asked one of my friends who just had her second baby girl, if she had little patience with her toddler during the first trimester, and she said that it was the third trimester that was hard for her.  Shit.  There's a chance this could happen again during the third trimester?!  Please. No.  

See?  This is why mom's need wine.  Lol.  I think I will start stocking up now for when baby is born.  Hey, I like to be prepared :)

Have any other Moms out there dealt with a similar situation?? Does is go away?? I'd love to hear... because right now, I could use the encouragement.

Happy Father's Day.

There are many men that I would like to wish a Happy Father's Day to... 

Dad.  Thank you for your continued love and support.  It's safe to say that you do not appreciate your parents as much as you do when you are a parent yourself.  Not only are you a great dad, but a wonderful Poppi.  Gwen adores and loves you very much.  I love you.

My father-in-laws.  I was not always a part of your families, but you would never know it by the way that you treat me.  :)  You are both so amazing with Gwen, she is lucky to have you in her life. 

Gwen's Uncles.  Although you are not dads yet yourself {Uncle Phil, you will be soon!}, I know that you will all be great dads some day.  We love you all!  

Pop.  It's hard to not have you here for this Father's Day, but the amazing thing about you is that your life lessons continue to teach and shape the lives of so many.  To say that we miss you is the understatement of a lifetime... but our love and admiration for you is forever strong.

Jason.  My best friend.  I've known that I loved you and wanted you by my side for a very long time, but seeing you as a father, a daddy, makes me fall more and more in love with you each day.  Gwen is so lucky to have a Daddy that loves her SO much.  A daddy who loves to be silly.  Who loves to spoil her.  Who knows just how special each and every hug and kiss is.  Being a dad has brought out a side of you that is one I could have never imagined.  You have a huge heart and our family benefits greatly from all of the love that you give us.  Baby #2 is another lucky kid who gets to have the best daddy in the whole wide world.  

Thank you so much for all that you do for us.  I love you so very much.

Happy Father's Day to all Fathers, Daddies, Uncles, and Grandpas!  Hope you have a wonderful day celebrating with your loved ones.

The Day I Needed A Time Out.

{Last Monday} The day started well.  Gwen and I slept til a decent hour.  Morning went smoothly.  Even lunch went off without a hitch.  Then we decided to venture out for a few errands.

To be honest, it's my fault.  I should have turned around and headed home when I got to Old Navy and realized that "someone" hadn't put the stroller back in the car after we returned from the carnival a few days before.  And I should have counted my blessings when I survived Old Navy without a melt down or a stroller.

But, I didn't... I pushed for more.

I went to the mall.  Without a stroller.  With a VERY active toddler.

We ventured into Kohl's because I wanted to find a "I'm not quite showing, but am pregnant" comfy, yet cute, dress for the upcoming wedding.  And I DARED to try things on in the dressing room.

Uncooperative would be my word of choice.  But, we made it... barely.  We then headed to Crazy 8, to pick up some shorts and tees for Gwen, which then began our downward spiral, quickly.  See, a stroller is key while shopping for one purpose and one alone.  Containment.  And I did not have this.  Therefore, while trying to find correct sizes, my child was "that kid" who was tearing the place up.

I found everything that I "needed" and headed to the checkout with Gwen in tow... who decided to sit down at the register and "relieve" her self.  Lol.  And guess where the diapers are?!?  In the stroller, that is not with us. {I keep them in the stroller so I can eliminate a diaper bag}.  Great.

At this point, I am sweating.  Profusely.

I take Gwen's hand, and proceed to the parking garage, where she decided to full force jump into a dirty, rain puddle... that splattered all over both of us.  I was approaching my boiling point more and more with every second...

We got in the car and I as I turned around to back out of the parking space, I see my daughter licking the bottom of her puddle soaked shoes.

I. lost. it.

I am ashamed to say that I am not even sure what came out of my mouth.  I know that it was VERY loud.  I am pretty certain that there was an F-bomb.  {Mother of the year over here}.  And I quickly pulled off the shoes, while trying not to gag {pregnant lady problems}, as Gwen began to wail.

I had scared her without a doubt.  I felt awful, immediately.  It was one of those moments.  I had just hit my limit of obstacles for the day... or so I thought.

Then I backed into a car.

Yup, I shit you not.  I was trying to console Gwen, telling her that I was sorry and that I love her, but that shoes NEVER belong in your mouth.  That putting shoes in your mouth can make you sick.  That I wasn't mad at her.  And then, ::tap::

It really wasn't bad.  There were no marks.  At all.  I swear.  I got out, checked both cars, gave the passerby who was glaring at me a "don't eff  with me, you have no clue what my afternoon has been like" evil look, then got back in the car and began to cry.

A time out was needed.  Not for Gwen.  For me.

I pulled myself together and left the parking lot.  Reassuring Gwen the whole way home how much I loved her.  {Holy guiltfest}.  We made it home safely, and I quickly pulled Gwen out of the car to hug and kiss her.  I walked us both inside... and straight to bed.  Not as a punishment.  Because it was needed, for us both.

We both napped well, and even though I still felt like the worst mother in the world, we woke up and everything was ok.  She still loved me.  Even though I had just lost my shit on her a few hours ago, she didn't care.

That's the amazing thing about being a parent.  You can have the lowest low, the ugliest moment, and they still love you... because you're their mom/dad.

What lessons have a learned from this??
*Always check for the stroller.  AND extra diapers and wipes. Don't go without them.
*Don't push limits, especially when you know the outcome.
*No ones perfect.  Especially me.

*****

Talk about needing a drink that day.  {Too bad I couldn't have it!}

Is It Possible?

I love Gwen, with every single ounce of my heart.  I fiercely love her.  She is my our entire world.  How in the world can that be duplicated?!  HOW am I going to find the room in my already filled heart for another little being.  And, how can I do it without loving her any less??

Now, I know that this is all possible.  I mean, millions of families have more that one child and the love just continues to grow and grow.  I know that my parents love me and my brother just as much {or at least that's what they tell him. Just KIDDING, Michael, xo}.  But, right now, Gwen is the center of our universe and change is scary.

Can I balance the love and attention between them?

Gwen is my first baby.  My first gift.  My first glimpse at motherly love.

Who can compete with that?

I never want her to feel like she lost part of me.  {yes, I know that this is ridiculous, but I am just being honest.}

I actually am teary eyed thinking about it. {hormones AGAIN}

Will she allow me to love another baby just as much as her??  Will she accept me as I love another child?

I know, when the time comes, that I will be able to do it.

But, for now, I am a little bit scared.

Maybe that's ok though.  I was scared before Gwen was born, too.  Will I be a good mother?  Will I love her the minute I meet her?  Can I do this?  And we all know how that worked out.  Just fine.  Better than fine.  Great.

Are these normal feelings??  Any other moms out there that deal/dealt with this??  Or am I just crazy??

Bumpdate :: 12 Weeks

I'm 12 weeks today... again.  I am ready to say peace out to this first trimester, like ASAP.

How far along?
Not far enough.  I kid.  12 weeks.

Total weight gain/loss?
Amazingly I began this pregnancy at the same weight that I was when I became pregnant with Gwen {although it DOES NOT feel that way}.  Between my 2 appointments, I lost a pound.  I'll take it.

Maternity Clothes?
No, but I have been thinking about pulling mine out of storage and washing them so when I do need them, I have them.  Unfortunately, I'll  be pregnant in different seasons than last time, so I am sure that I am going to need a few new articles to add to my preggo wardrobe.

Sleep?
I can't get enough.  Even when I do get a nap, I still want to be in bed early.  And I definitely don't want to get up in the morning.  I am seriously looking forward to the return of my energy.  Any day now. Any day.

Best Moment of the Week?
Getting to see the little one twice in one week.  And finally being able to share our news.  You have to know that we are both AWFUL at keeping secrets... so this has been torture.  Lol.

Movement?
Nope.  But, during the ultrasounds, little one was tossing and turning all over the place.  Very cute to see.

Food Cravings?
I had the biggest craving for pancakes the other afternoon.  So big that I decided I needed to have them for dinner!!  When I was pregnant with Gwen, all I wanted was spicy food, but this time around I haven't had those cravings, yet.

Gender?
I would find out today if I could, but unfortunately it won't be for about 8 weeks or so until we find out.  Eek!

Labor Signs?
Heck no.

Belly Button?
Still the same.

What I miss?
I went to my first wedding where I couldn't drink, and I must admit that although I still had a great time, having a few drinks and tearing up the dance floor is definitely a much better way to go.  I will greatly miss my SkinnyGirl Margaritas this summer!

What I Am Looking Forward To?
A baby belly.  I am tired of just feeling BLAH, and would like to look preggo.

Weekly Wisdom?
I'm too tired to come up with anything right now.  I am lucky that my fingers are hitting the right keys.

Milestones?
Telling our friends, family, and of course, the FB world.

And, here it is.  The bump... sort of.

Me & Dr. P

If you've been here reading from the beginning, then you know that finding Dr. P was a fluke.  That I had no clue what doctor I was choosing, I just knew that she was literally two blocks from me, and whatever was written about her on the internet.  You then would also know, that I adore her.  Like, adore is an understatement.  L-O-V-E, LOVE!

I even felt a sense of withdrawl after Gwen was born, because I didn't see her as much, and she had become a friend.  So, imagine how excited I was when I had my first Dr. appt. with her {May 8th}!!  

We were reunited!

And it was like no time had passed.

She filled me in on her pups {one had passed :( }. She asked about Wiley and Gwen. And when I told her that I was there because we were having baby #2... she was just as happy as we were!

Now, it's no secret that Jason and I hope to move sometime in the future, but it was SOOOO important to me that if we were going to have another child that we had the same doctor, same hospital, and hopefully {fingers crossed} the same type of delivery.  Hell, I'd even request the same staff if I could!!!

Listen, being a hypochondriac as it is, comfort is everything to me.  And I am comfortable with her.  

Throughout the appointment, we chatted {my favorite part}, she told me how it wasn't going to be the easiest {being preggo with a toddler}, and she told Jason things like: "She's gonna let the house go."  "She's not really going to want to cook all the time."  "She should be napping when Gwen is."

Ummm, have I mentioned that I love this woman?!?!

Jason already knew most of this stuff, and is already helping out. {Thank God he loves to cook!}

Wednesday was my second appointment with her, and after telling her about my NOW Christmas Day due date, I asked if there was ANY way we could make that NOT happen.  She smirked and said, "Of course.  You knew I would help you out."  ::sigh::  Love her.

I'm so lucky to have found a doctor that I have such a close bond with.  She rocks.

Due Christmas Day?!

After the shock of being "off" a week and a half wore off, and laughing that we were now due on Christmas Day... I had a chance to sit and think about it.  And, I almost began to cry {oh, hey pregnancy hormones, haven't missed you!}, because the thought of being away from Gwen on Christmas, puts such a big lump in my throat.

I don't want to. 

Gwen is at such a fun age, and THESE are the years that Christmas begins to be magical  for her, and us.  I can't imagine not being with her for Christmas.  And {thanks again to those damn hormones} it almost enrages me to picture someone, ANYONE else other than me/us, being with her instead.   

Would Gwen then associate the new baby with Mommy not being there for Christmas??  {I know that this is very unlikely, but these are the things that run through my head.}

I'm a bit terrified at the thought of being in a hospital that day and not at home with my first born.  Ugh.

Any day but Christmas.  Any one.

Lucky for me, my doctor is the best doctor ever and will do her best to make sure that doesn't happen, all while making sure that baby #2 is safe and not in danger in any way.  

So, starting now, let's put good vibes out there that I will be spending Christmas Day at home with my family of four  plus Wiley of course.

Pregnancy Details.

First, thank you so much for all of the comments, texts, calls, well wishes, and more that have been sent our way since we made our announcement!  The amount of love is overwhelming and totally appreciated.  We are so excited for this next journey of ours, and I can't wait to share all the details along the way.  Here's some of the deets so far.

Due Date.

Well, that's an interesting question... Originally, Dr. P told me that my due date was December 16th.  BUT, when I went for my first ultrasound {June 4th}, the technician informed me that I wasn't quite far along as I thought.  On that day, I thought that I was 12 weeks and 1 day... but baby's measurements put me at 10 weeks 6 days. WTF?!?  I had to redo a whole week and a half?!?  Ugh!!  AND I had to come back for the NT test, because I wasn't far along enough for the test. {but that's ok, because we got to see and hear baby twice and got extra pics} My new due date... Christmas Day.  {and THAT, my friends, is a whole separate post.

How far along?

As of today, I am 11 weeks 4 days... again, lol.

How am I feeling?
Cranky. Yea, Hubs has a real gem of a wife lately. Tired.  Like nap when Gwen naps AND am in bed by about 9pm, 10 tops.  A bit nauseous.  You know, the usual stuff.  But, overall, I feel good.

When did we find out?
Feels like forever ago... but actually, April 29th, which IS forever ago, no?

Minus the first trimester symptoms, it still doesn't actually FEEL like I am pregnant, because I am still in that, "I feel gross, bring on the baby bump" phase.  I don't think that I would mind "popping" early this time... bring on the baby belly.

I think that I am going to bring back my "Mommy-to-be Quizzes"  that I used to do when I was pregnant with Gwen.  It's a nice way to "keep track" of my pregnancy, and I'll be able to compare some of my answers.

*****

It's been a lazy Sunday for us.  We were recovering from a wedding last night, me from being up too late, and Hubs for drinking mine and his drinks, lol.  Kidding, kidding.  I met up with my besties, for a catch up breakfast... man, I love those girls... it never seems like enough time together.

I met Jason and Gwen at home after their park play date, and we all took a lovely nap... have I mentioned how much I love naps?!?  And now we are gearing up for some takeout and RHONJ.  Pretty nice little weekend if I say so myself.

Hope you had a fabulous weekend!

The Best Post Ever.

This is quite possibly one of the best posts I have ever written.

Maybe even the best picture(s) I have taken too.

Do you think you can handle it???

OK, then here it goes...

Are you ready?!?

Alright, then...

Gwen would like to share some BIG news with you...

Due December 25th!

We are so happy!!! More details to come in the next few days/weeks. 

Tickle My Fancy

One of my favorite ladies, Kerry, from It's the Little Things tagged me in this fun post, and I am going to play along.

Five things that tickle my fancy...

...polite people.  They are a dying breed.  Just saying "thank you" or "have a nice day" or even just a smile.  How do we expect to raise polite children when we aren't polite ourselves?

...the beach.  The sand in between my toes.  The salt air filling my lungs.  The soothing sound of waves crashing.  It's perfection.  Growing up a beach girl, I am positive that it's something I want to pass on to Gwen.

...spending time with my family.  My little family and extended.  I love being around family.  Laughing, sharing stories, and making memories.  This is something that I don't think I appreciated enough when I was younger, but then again, what kid does?

...a good summer thunderstorm.  While I am safely inside of course.  The way that the clouds sweep in, cooling off a hot summer day.  The magical show of lightening. And the loud claps of thunder that still scare the crap out of me even though I am a grown woman.  Something about it, I just love.

...finding a book that I can put down.  There's something about an addicting book that makes me so happy.  When you are SO engrossed in the story that you can't bear to walk away from it, that's a good book.

*****
I have a tons of posts scheduled for the next few days, so please check back here. :)  Today was an interesting day, well actually afternoon for Gwen and I.  One where I probably should have put us both in a time out.  I'm trying to relax now while Gwen sleeps, and will write about it later when we are both back to our "happy" places.

Sunday Link Up and Recap

Hey, look at me, I actually posted this on time! {I'll pause here for applause.}

1. What is your favorite Social Media outlet?

All of them?  I'm on FB and Instagram the most.  I check Twitter every now and then, but it's more to check on what all the crazy celebs are up to. I am trying not to get roped into any new ones, don't need any new addictions.

2. Do you subscribe to any daily news reads?  If so, which ones?

A few of my favorite bloggers, but I really try not to, too much email makes this momma nutso.

3. Favorite Magazine to have by the pool?

Ok, I am going to assume that I should be answering this question "pretending" that I am ALONE by this said pool, and that I have no responsibilities, and don't want to take a nap.  So, with all of that said, I would have to say I like US Weekly, Life & Style, Glamour, 

4. Favorite Summertime Song?

It's not just one particular one.  Anything fun, that makes me want to dance.  Kenny Chesney, Jimmy Buffett, Dave Matthews, Bob Marley, "Boys of Summer" - by Don Henley, and any Bruce Springsteen are musts for the summer.

5. Best Summer Concert you've been to?

Usually Dave Matthews Band is my favorite.  Jimmy Buffett too.  Both are just fun times, with fun people, and GREAT music.

*****
It has been a gloriously uneventful weekend.  We went to our church's carnival up the street from us last night.  My cousin spent the weekend {in between her classes}, and she came with us.  Gwen LOVED the big slide, you know, the one you ride down on a potato sack... we spent the majority of our tickets on that one.  We only spent about an hour there, but Gwen had an ear to ear smile on her face every single second.

Today, we don't have much planned... other than the return of my favorite crazies, the RHONJ!!!!  Can't wait to see all the drama!!