Friday, June 14, 2013

The Day I Needed A Time Out.

{Last Monday} The day started well.  Gwen and I slept til a decent hour.  Morning went smoothly.  Even lunch went off without a hitch.  Then we decided to venture out for a few errands.

To be honest, it's my fault.  I should have turned around and headed home when I got to Old Navy and realized that "someone" hadn't put the stroller back in the car after we returned from the carnival a few days before.  And I should have counted my blessings when I survived Old Navy without a melt down or a stroller.

But, I didn't... I pushed for more.

I went to the mall.  Without a stroller.  With a VERY active toddler.

We ventured into Kohl's because I wanted to find a "I'm not quite showing, but am pregnant" comfy, yet cute, dress for the upcoming wedding.  And I DARED to try things on in the dressing room.

Uncooperative would be my word of choice.  But, we made it... barely.  We then headed to Crazy 8, to pick up some shorts and tees for Gwen, which then began our downward spiral, quickly.  See, a stroller is key while shopping for one purpose and one alone.  Containment.  And I did not have this.  Therefore, while trying to find correct sizes, my child was "that kid" who was tearing the place up.

I found everything that I "needed" and headed to the checkout with Gwen in tow... who decided to sit down at the register and "relieve" her self.  Lol.  And guess where the diapers are?!?  In the stroller, that is not with us. {I keep them in the stroller so I can eliminate a diaper bag}.  Great.

At this point, I am sweating.  Profusely.

I take Gwen's hand, and proceed to the parking garage, where she decided to full force jump into a dirty, rain puddle... that splattered all over both of us.  I was approaching my boiling point more and more with every second...

We got in the car and I as I turned around to back out of the parking space, I see my daughter licking the bottom of her puddle soaked shoes.

I. lost. it.

I am ashamed to say that I am not even sure what came out of my mouth.  I know that it was VERY loud.  I am pretty certain that there was an F-bomb.  {Mother of the year over here}.  And I quickly pulled off the shoes, while trying not to gag {pregnant lady problems}, as Gwen began to wail.

I had scared her without a doubt.  I felt awful, immediately.  It was one of those moments.  I had just hit my limit of obstacles for the day... or so I thought.

Then I backed into a car.

Yup, I shit you not.  I was trying to console Gwen, telling her that I was sorry and that I love her, but that shoes NEVER belong in your mouth.  That putting shoes in your mouth can make you sick.  That I wasn't mad at her.  And then, ::tap::

It really wasn't bad.  There were no marks.  At all.  I swear.  I got out, checked both cars, gave the passerby who was glaring at me a "don't eff  with me, you have no clue what my afternoon has been like" evil look, then got back in the car and began to cry.

A time out was needed.  Not for Gwen.  For me.

I pulled myself together and left the parking lot.  Reassuring Gwen the whole way home how much I loved her.  {Holy guiltfest}.  We made it home safely, and I quickly pulled Gwen out of the car to hug and kiss her.  I walked us both inside... and straight to bed.  Not as a punishment.  Because it was needed, for us both.

We both napped well, and even though I still felt like the worst mother in the world, we woke up and everything was ok.  She still loved me.  Even though I had just lost my shit on her a few hours ago, she didn't care.

That's the amazing thing about being a parent.  You can have the lowest low, the ugliest moment, and they still love you... because you're their mom/dad.

What lessons have a learned from this??
*Always check for the stroller.  AND extra diapers and wipes. Don't go without them.
*Don't push limits, especially when you know the outcome.
*No ones perfect.  Especially me.

*****

Talk about needing a drink that day.  {Too bad I couldn't have it!}



2 comments:

Jennifer said...

Oh gosh, I am so sorry. I can just imagine how that day must have felt for you. I think we all need a time out once in a while.

Natalie said...

Girl it's totally ok...we have all been there!