It's been a month. A month since we lost Pop. And it feels like an eternity without him.
It hasn't gotten easier.
Is it supposed to?
In just a month, there have been SO many moments that all I can think is, "Pop should be here."
My heart aches. It aches even more to watch my Mam-Mom readjust to her life without him. She is such a strong person, but this is more than I think she expected. It's not fair. Her favorite place in the world has been taken away from her... because it was wherever he was. Pop was my brother's best friend, and he wasn't there to watch him marry the love of his life. Yes, I know he "was there," but it wasn't the same. Something was missing. HE was missing. His laugh. His smile. His hugs. He should have been in the pictures. On the dance floor with his arms wrapped around his sweetheart. I miss him. So much. I have a voicemail from him from May. He was so jolly, so positive, so him. I play it all the time. Just to hear his voice. To hear him call me "Saaaaaammmmmmmmyy". I hate when people call me "Sammy," except him. I feel so confused about it all. I'm sad. I feel selfish for wanting him back. My heart is so heavy. I know that 81 years is a long time... but I feel like the 28 that I got to spend with him, just wasn't enough.
It's a fun little Wednesday in our house. Gwen woke up at 4am! And had NO desire to go back to sleep even though she is a tired hot mess. Ugh. Nap time cannot come quick enough. For real.
In the meantime, she is giving my living room a Hurricane-like makeover. Lovely. I have not showered. Awesome. Am about to make myself ANOTHER cup of coffee. And have a to-do list that is PRETTY long... therefore, no nap for Momma. {insert very big and tired sad face here}
To keep me awake until said nap time, I am linking up for a little oh, how Pinteresting! - Gwen's birthday inspirations.
I saw this and thought it would be fun to join. All of her photo challenges should be based around our kiddos (pets are welcome too). The Challenge: "Morning"
Watching morning cartoons with blankie in tow... she could totally be named Linus. lol. xoxo
1. Are you married? If so when did you get married, and tell us about your special day.
Yes, I am married. I married my best friend on October 10, 2009 on the beaches of Puerto Rico. 115 of our family and friends joined us in the most amazing 4 day celebration. Everything was outside, no tents, and perfect {but hot} weather. It. Was. Perfection.
2. Show us some wedding pictures.
Gladly.
3. How about the engagement? Tell us your story.
A simple engagement for us. Jason proposed in front of our family at our first Christmas Party. Then, later, friends also arrived and helped us celebrate looooong into the night. lol.
4. Show us your wedding rings or engagement photo.
5. Tell us why you think marriage doesn't work out for so many. What can we do to make things last?
I think that marriage doesn't work for so many because of laziness... they would rather give up then try harder. Marriage isn't always easy. It is a constant growing and learning experience. You must be open to change and compromise or you're doomed. Trust and communication are key... I always say, I can't fix something if you don't tell me what's wrong. And you should always make sure that you are marrying your best friend! I def married mine :) Xoxo.
Yes, I've been away. But, I'm back. Where was I? My little brother and one of my best friends got married, to each other! It was a beautiful wedding and I promise to write a post this week about it. Pinkie swear.
We spent the LAZIEST of Sunday's at home {finally} watching TV, cuddling, and ordering takeout. Yup, bums we are.
It's back to regular life tomorrow, and tonight I'm linking up with Neely for a little...
This week's questions: All About the Internet
1. What is the first website you log on to each day? Email then Facebook. Yes, shameful. Except, I know you do it too. lol.
2. Give us some funny websites you visit that we need to know about.
"Where good intentions come to die" - We've all been there. lol.
3. Pinterest or Facebook? Why? Facebook. No, Pinterest. No, Facebook. Yes, Facebook. IDK. lol.
4. Twitter or Instagram? Instagram... I'm addicted. Twitter? Eh, not an essential for me.
5. Favorite YouTube video... post it!
I bought Hubs tix to see him for his birthday! Yay! Can't wait for November :)
6. Biggest Online Pet Peeve? Airing your shit out on Facebook {or any other site} instead of confronting the person in REAL LIFE. We know who you are talking about in your vague, yet specific status update... and no, it's not ok. Cut the crap. Seriously.
AND when you post things like...
"FML"
"Can't believe this is happening"
"The worst day..."
Etc., and DON'T elaborate.... because you obviously want us all to ask, "What's wrong?" "Are you ok?" and stuff like that. Quit begging for online attention. For real. lol.
Yup, it's my amazing, loving, funny, and sexy husband's birthday today! Unfortunately, he's at work right now, but we will most definitely be celebrating when he gets home!
We love you SO much Jason, you are a wonderful husband and the best Daddy in the entire world. Our lives are better because you are in it... and that we are grateful for.
SO much has been going on these past few months that it really hasn't sunk in that in just ONE more month {and two days}...
...Gwen will be 2.
TWO!
I cannot believe it. I know how cliche' I am going to sound right now, but WHERE did the time go? I feel like I just blinked and she is no longer a little baby. She's growing too fast!
She is one amazing little girl. Chatting up a storm from the minute she gets up to the minute she falls asleep. Like, full sentences. Scary! People are constantly stopping me asking how old she is and when I tell them she will be two in September I always get the same reaction "She talks so well!" In place of "Thank You," she says "You're Welcome." It is the absolute cutest to hand her something and without missing a beat she says "You're Welcome, Mommy." lol. I sort of never want that to change. :)
She is the BEST little dancer. I swear she has more rhythm than most adults {she gets that from her Momma :)}. It makes me so excited to bring her to the Fresh Beat Band concert in a few weeks, because I know she is going to have a blast!
She could possibly be part fish. Or mermaid. Girlfriend can't get enough of the water. Like, will stay in until blue and shivering, and cries when you take her out. Even at the beach, no fear.
And she is so stinkin' smart! For real, she comes out of nowhere with some stuff, that I am almost brought to tears because I am so proud of how smart she is.
I am loving this age {but really what age haven't I loved yet}, and I would love to just slow down time just a little bit.
Next up in our adventures? Potty training. Getting rid of that damn ba-ba. Hopefully enrolling in a dance class this fall! The Fresh Beat Band Concert. Being a Flower Girl twice in the next few months. And tons more.
I am knee deep in planning her second birthday party, which will be bah-noon {balloon} themed because, well, she can't get enough of them! This year though, it will be a much smaller event, lol.
The farm that we went to Wednesday for peach picking, was not just a Pick-Your-Own farm, it had some fun activities for kids. They had a corn kingdom {a shed-like structure fill with a foot or so of corn kernels}, a bounce house, animals to feed, pony rides and even a hayride. We didn't do all of the activities, but here are some pics of what we did do...
Gwen kept "moo-ing" at this guy, lol.
He tried giving Gwen kisses {or steal her cookies!}
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